Years ago, I spent a weekend in a Benedictine monastery to discern my vocation for priesthood. It so happened that the community was also on a retreat. So they invited another Benedictine monk as the retreat master. The retreat master was quite boring because I saw some of the monks drifting to sleep. I myself was drifting to sleep. But I remembered one thing from that retreat that changed my life.
The monk said that a Father is one who protects, teaches and heals. Of course, the model of fatherhood is the greatest Father of all, our Father in heaven. He protects his family. He provides for them. He desires only good things for his family.
The Father also teaches his children. That is why he left us his word: Jesus himself, who claims to do only what he sees the Father does, teaches his disciples. Paul says,
“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
Paul compares the relationship of man and woman to Jesus and his Church. Jesus is the head of the Church, his body. The man is also the head of his family. The woman is also his body. As Jesus is the Saviour of the Church, the man is to die to himself so that his family can be holy.
He makes sure that each person in his family reaches full potential and grows to be the person they are to be. Our Father in heaven always seeks to lead us to him. He wants us to be holy because by being holy, we become the person we were meant to be.
Men should also learn from Jesus, the bridegroom. He loves his Church such that he gave up his life to her and for her. A man is expected to love their wife as Christ loves his Church. He is to give his life to her and for her. The purpose of this is to sanctify her – that he might present her to Jesus in splendor – that she might be holy and without blemish. It is the man's responsibility to lead his wife to holiness.
Paul speaks of the woman as being the same body as the man. The man should nourish his body and cherish her.
